HELLO omg I totally lost the motivation to blog because too many things have happened and I don't know where to start. I've been working on my Europe post (very inconsistently) and I still have Japan and now Taiwan and also my module review omg. Also I've been thinking a lot about family and life and stuff (LOLLL) but I've no idea how to pen them into coherent sentences so I guess these thoughts will be in my head forever #deep HAHA.
Well I feel the need to at least squeeze out a post because it's my last day of being a 19 y/o!!! Tbh I don't really look forward to my birthday because 1) it means school is starting soon and 2) I always feel oddly sad and nostalgic because I get a year older and also it means the year is coming to an end. :( And I don't like it when things come to an end. I don't like goodbyes.
Anw yeah I was watching this drama and in the show there's this guy who's super cheerful all year round but gets kinda sad on his birthday and I totally feel him hahaha. But we are sad for different reasons HAHA.
I've always wanted to do a year in review kind of thing but always gave up halfway because there are too many things HAHA. I still have 2014's in my draft section because I typed like 4 paragraphs and gave up :| Well at least I update kinda frequently so I can just read my old posts and don't have to rely on that one post I guess HAHA.
I think I'm already starting to dread birthdays like how people in their middle-age do. I used to be so particular about the number of candles on my birthday cake but now I'm like "there are too many....... let's just put one candle" HAHAHA. And every birthday just reminds me that I'm a year older and WHAT HAVE I ACHIEVED?! HOW MANY MORE YEARS DO I GET TO LIVE?! HOW MANY MORE YEARS DO I GET TO WORK TOWARDS MY DREAM?! TIME TO FACE ADULT RESPONSIBILITIES!!!!!!!!!! START LOOKING FOR A JOB A HOUSE A LIFE PARTNER!!!!!
And then I'll look back at all that I've done in the past and wish I did everything a little bit better.
Just recently I read this post about Bhutan's dark secret to happiness (http://www.bbc.com/travel/story/20150408-bhutans-dark-secret-to-happiness), not sure how true it is since I don't know anyone from Bhutan but I thought it was an interesting perspective. And I think it works because in recent years I've been thinking about death (sounds so morbid omg) a lot more and it does make me treasure what I have and make me want to make the best out of my life. Kinda wish I started thinking like this way earlier HAHA okay okay I really need to come to terms with myself. There are so many things I regret, but there are also so many things that I will never regret.
So in general, this year has been a great one. It feels longer than usual and I have no idea why. I kept thinking of last semester (Y1S2) as last year but noooo it's just this year!!! Feels pretty crazy to have Y1S2 and Y2S1 in the same year haha because things feel so different. But t'was a awesome year. Met a bunch of lovely people who I will always treasure, did a bunch of stuff that I normally wouldn't do, and in general just had a smashing great time. Even school, as annoying as it sometimes is, was great. I really like what I'm studying and it challenges me in all the good ways. So I'm grateful to have had such a great 19, and I hope that 20 will be even better. :-)