You know you've really grown older when you're starting to witness marriages, births and deaths.
Second time round and it still feels as surreal as the first time. There is really no appropriate time or place to announce someone's death. This time round, it's someone closer to me - my uncle.
I wouldn't say it was unexpected, because all of us knew that he was battling cancer. But I think subconsciously we always chose to believe that things were fine, that the treatments were working, that this was just something temporary and soon he'll be back in the pink of health.
At the same time I guess it was also unexpected, at least to me (since I'm all the way over here in Singapore and haven't been receiving updates as often). I
honestly thought things would turn out to be fine in the end.
But I guess life is unpredictable like that. Though my uncle seemed to know it was going to happen and decided to return to his hometown two days ago.
Once again it's quite a strange situation I am in, because I'm really not that close to my uncle. He's my aunt's husband and the two of them live in a different province so honestly I don't think I've seen him for more than 10 times and we really barely even talked but all the same, he's family. And what is the saddest is that I can barely remember his face because every time I meet him, he's the one driving my family to and fro the airport and helping us with our luggage. I can recall the backview of his head clearer than his face.
It's sad and disappointing how the only thing I can say about him is that he's nice. Because I honestly don't know much about him, and I wish I did say more or ask more; but what's the use of wishing now right? Sometimes it's really hard to remember that death is so close to us and we all take for granted that we can live a long enough life but really, what are the chances? He was only 58.
I'm now really glad I made that rather spontaneous trip to China during my 8-month holiday before university started. I went back because I had nothing better to do and thought why not just go back and relax, and I had the chance to actually meet all of my relatives and family friends. I remember my uncle and aunt came to the hotel to pass me some gifts and they sent me off to the airport. I'm glad that at least I got to see him one last time and said goodbye, even though back then I didn't know it would be forever.
Just like how when life and time said goodbye, it's forever.
大姑丈，一路走好。